Hobos Landing

I thought I would share a little amusing/embarrassing story that happened to me last week.  I had gone to the local bookstore just to wander (I love books!) and was having quite a nice time.  I was browsing photography books when I pulled out my cell phone to check messages.  As I removed it from the belt holster, the phone slipped from my hand and went bouncing across the isle.  I went chasing it and when I arrived at the spot that it had come to rest, I bent down to retrieve it.  All of a sudden I heard a loud noise and felt a slight vibration.  I quickly mentally retraced my food intake for the day and couldn’t think of anything I had eaten that might have caused such a noise.  I stood up, hoping no one had heard and began to wonder if the source of the noise had come from splitting the seat of my pants.  I reached around but could feel no hole so I decided it must have been a noise that had come from the cell phone and breathed a sigh of relief.  As the air exhaled from my lungs, I notice that something about my pants still felt strange.  I glanced down and realized that I had split my pants, not in the seat, but down the front.  (Photo evidence follows)

RIIIIIIIP!!!

At this point, it begins to settle in my mind that I am standing in the middle of a crowded book store with a gigantic hole in my pants and have no easy means of escape.  It was at this point that my ninja self sprang into action!  I quickly made my way through a maze of isles until I arrived at the first isle in the store.  I knew there was no way to sneak out, so I waited a couple of seconds until I saw that no one was coming in or going out, took a deep breath, swallowed my pride and headed toward the door.

As I exited the store, I breathed a little sigh of relief but the feeling was short lived.  I now realized I was standing IN FRONT of the bookstore with a giant rip in my pants.  I held my head high, and walked as quickly as I could between two cars.  It was at this point that my ninja self decided to take a nap and my imbecile self decided to come back out for awhile.  Yup!  You guessed it.  I couldn’t remember where the car was.  I look left, then right, then realized there was a woman sitting in the car I was hiding behind who was laughing uproariously at my pants.  I quickly tried to move between cars to get to mine, but still couldn’t quite remember where I had parked it.  I passed two more people who were waiting in cars and were either quite surprised or amused at my situation.  Finally I found my car and fished through my pockets for the keys.  I began pushing the unlock key and the car alarm began screaming.  Apparently, I had pushed the ‘locate’ button accidentally.  Luckily, no one pays attention to car alarms any more.